The Primitive vs. the Rational Brain

1. Something that has helped me in dealing with problems and issues that come up is to think of two different parts of my brain.  One is the more primitive part of my brain that reacts without thinking.  The other is the more rational part of my brain that looks at the overall picture and makes wise decisions.  Freud touched on this a bit.  Most people have heard of his Id, Super Ego and Ego.  The Id is the child like part of our brain,  the Super Ego is the parent part and the Ego is is the adult part that looks at both the Id and Super Ego to make adult like decisions.
   
   I like to think of it as more our primitive brain and our rational part of the brain.  Here is a link to get more the scientific part of this http://charactertherapist.blogspot.com/2011/04/t3-emotional-brain-v-rational-brain.html
   
   Quick explanation: Our emotional brain (amygdala) is the seat of a basest survival instincts: feeding, mating, fighting, flighting. The rational brain (prefrontal cortex) is the seat of executive function, rational thought, and judgment
   
   Okay, now here is what makes a lot of sense to me.  When we get a shock or something unexpected happens this information first seems to go to our emotional or primitive part of our brain.  If we react right then we will probably be in trouble. Here is a example:  Let's say you walk in and find your 12 year old son looking at very graphic pornography images on his computer.  How do you react?
   
   We'd like to think that we would rationally talk to our son and have a great conversation on appropriate sexuality and his feelings and even grow closer through this experience.  Right?
   
   Unfortunately what happens to most of us is we freak out.  We weren't expecting this and our son is looking at horrible pictures of women degrading themselves and we just freak.  We may scream at him and say things we don't really mean. 
   
   There's a part of us who know we are handling this all wrong but we are reacting in our primitive brain which just took over our reactions and the wrong words and actions just came pouring out.
   
   Eventually we may feel awful about how we handled the situation, feel guilty, may try to undo the damage but it is hard to do. 
   
   Okay, life happens.  We face unexpected or aggravating things almost daily.  Maybe not as traumatic as the example I gave, but stressful nonetheless.  Aurtomatically our primitive brain kicks in.  It doesn't always make the most rational decisions or think the most logical thoughts.
   
   WE SHOULD NEVER MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS UNTIL OUR RATIONAL BRAIN CAN KICK IN!  Never make a decision like divorce until you can use your more rational brain.
   
   But how can we get out of our primitive brain into our more rational brain?  For some people it's easier and quicker than others. 
   
   Here are some suggestions:
   
   Time is a biggy.  Often just giving ourselves time can help if we let it.
   
   Breathing.  Deep breathes.
   
   Praying/ Meditating.
   
   Exercising
   
   Praying
   
   Writing....I find when I'm real angry at someone or disappointed etc. it helps me to write a letter.....But I never send it, at least not usually.  Sometimes I go back to it and modify it and modify it and modify it and let it sit , sit and then when it is in the rational brain I send it.  But when I first write it it just usually helps me to get all those feelings out.  But again I would never send that version or share it. We often will see things a little differently over time.

Art, music, hobbies,

Anything that helps get our anxiety down and help us get over our first reaction.

Self-talk or cognitive therapy.  We have thousands of thoughts through out the day.  We tend to believe them but many are irrational and can make us feel crummy.  Our thoughts actually cause chemicals in our body that can cause depression.   So retraining our thoughts is imperitive.  I think we need to teach these techniques to our children.  This is what therapist do so why not get a headstart and teach this technique at an early age.  That is why I wrote A.N.T. Annoying Nonsense Thoughts.  I wanted an easy book to learn this technique to kids and adults in a simple way.

Some people can get into their rational part of their brain quickly.  Others (like me) have to take time to find their way there.  The more we are 'self-aware'- the better off we are.  For the mother who found their son looking at the pages it may be better off to say, "We will talk about this after I have some time to cool down."  Then walk away. 

But seriously do give yourself time to ponder and become rational.  Do things to relax you so you can handle the situation in a way you can be pleased about.  Work your way out of the primitive brain into your logical/ rational one.