I changed my books name to "ANTS: Annoying Nonsense Thoughts. A Guide to Positive Thinking." Same book. You can still get the old title- There's a Big Ant on Me, Get it Off". I changed the name because I felt it let people know right off what it was about and why it is important. But I didn't want to delete the old title since some people have all ready bought the book. (Plus I got some great reviews-haha)
A lot of people actually buy it for adults to help them use the technique of changing their negative thoughts, but the younger we teach our kids to think positively the easier it will be in their lives. Here are the links to order the books, with either the old title or new title. http://www.amazon.com/A-N-T-Annoying-Nonsense-Thoughts-Friendship/dp/1494233428/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1386001531&sr=8-2-fkmr0 http://www.amazon.com/Theres-Big-Friendship-Craze-Volume/dp/061580859X/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1386002859&sr=8-2 (This one has reviews on it.) Or if you live in the Fayeteville/Peachtree City area you can pay 9 dollars and pick it up at my house. (Only old titles) Kids love the book and parents love it because it helps teach their kids positive thinking in a fun way. FUN CHRISTMAS GIFT!!!!!
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I love this. Paper fortune teller is a great tool for conversation starters. Templates
available on the site: http://autismteachingstrategies.com/uncategorized/paper-fortune-tellers-social-skills-games-for-children-with-asds-and-other-children-too/. What a great tool for kids to learn how to continue conversations. Kids love these little paper On November 7th new classes are beginning. I've done the skit "Grinch" before for Acting Craze but not Reader's Theater. But the kids LOVE it! It's always so hilarious. So anyone who wants to introduce their child to reader's theater, this is the class to do it. To register go to Fayette County Parks and Recreation.
For Acting Craze we are doing "Goldilocks and the Christmas Elves". She wakes up a very vain and sleepy Sleeping Beauty and the catch the Polar Express. There's a lot of dun characters and the kids can really improvise with this skit. This is offered for ages 8-14. You can take the class on Thursdays at 5 at the Kedron through Peachtree City Recreation or on Friday's through Fayette County Parks and Recreation. Tell your friends. It should be a lot of fun. And as always I am also doing my Friendship Craze class. What's great about my classes through the school year, is if there is an issue your child is having you can let me know so I can incorporate games, role playing etc. to address the issue. Contact me with any questions and hope to see on November 7th or 8th. A friend of mine mentioned that her daughter's class wasn't going out to recess and when she has asked her teacher about it, the teacher made a lot of excuses. We moved from Utah about 10 years ago. My 2 oldest children were in 7th and 9th grade when we moved. In Utah they had 2 or 3 recess's a day. Here in Georgia my youngest child had one right after lunch if there was time and here and there if the teacher felt like it.
More and more the trend has been to get rid of recess. With "No Child Left Behind" there is so much emphasis on learning to pass the test that many teachers and administrators feel there isn't time for recess. Or recess becomes a motivator..a reward for good behavior or something to take away when you misbehave. Sadly the children who probably need recess the most are the ones getting it the least. Most research clearly shows that recess helps kids academically. Our brains can only handle so much information and then we need a break. Also recess helps kids learn social skills. Another big factor is kids are getting obese! With more and more media choices, and less neighborhood 'kick the can' games, our kids are not getting exercise. Recess is a time to just run around and play..no structure-just having fun. We freak out that kids are getting more obese...but we take away their recess. My son has ADHD. In kindergarten he had a hard time finishing his work even though he caused no disruptions in the classroom. The teacher wouldn't let him go out for recess because he hadn't finished his work. At the time I thought he was learning to follow through but years later I regret that I let that teacher get away with that. My son had a learning disability that he was punished for. Out of all kids he probably needed that recess most. I just read that in some Chicago schools it has been 3 years since the kids had recess but they are reintroducing it. But the kids don't know how to play, so they have instructors. Goodness. We want our kids to work hard but in a society that is obese and stressed maybe one easy solution is recess. The research shows it efinately doesn't hurt. An important social skill for kids to learn is both learning how to be a leader and a follower. When I have taught lessons on this I will ask the kids "what makes a good leader?'
They will say someone who takes charge. "What makes a good follower?" "Someone who does whatever the leader says." Kids are shocked when I suggest that a good follower sometimes lets the leader know their opinions and ideas. That it is okay to think differently than the follower. A good leader listens to other people's ideas, and then makes a decision. A good leader serves those who follows him/her. A good follower offers suggestions but once a leader makes a decision follows them unless the follower feels it is ethically against their views. What are some good ideas to help children learn leadership and following skills? 1. Discuss what makes a good leader or follower. 2. MOTHER MAY I. Fantastic game! How to play: One player is designated as the mother (boys can be the father). The mother/father stands at one end of the room, and the remaining players line up at the opposite end. Players take turns asking "Mother/Father, may I (movement suggestion)?" The mother/father answers either "Yes, you may" or "No, but you may (another movement suggestion)." Even if the mother/father makes an unfavorable suggestion, such as return to the starting point, the player must perform it. The rules: Some suggestions of what the players may ask the mother/father include: take (number of) steps/baby steps/giant steps/frog leaps forward. How to win: Be the first person to reach the mother or father. That person becomes the next mother or father if another round is played. What else you need to know: The mother/father can reduce the number of steps being asked to take or change the type of steps they make or even tell the player to take that number of steps backward instead. This is a great game in teaching how to ask our leaders for something, how to negotiate what we want and how to follow. It also helps teh mother/father how to lead. You can change the mother/father to a story leader such as "Dumbledore May I" (from Harry Potter) or "Chiron May I" (from Percy Jackson.) 3. Play Hot/Cold. Step 1: Choose a Hunter Choose one player to be the Hunter, and have them leave the room or move away from the group.
So, this may not have a lot to do with social skills but if you have a child with a lot of anxiety that interferes with their social. academic life here is something that may help. Lemon Balm works in the same part of the brain as valium...but with no side effects and is in fact good for you. It is in the mint family so it grows easily and tastes yummy. Here is a link for a lemon balm aid recipe and lemon balm tea. http://www.herbalinfusions.net/blog.html Lemon balm tastes like lemons without the tartness. It may be helpful for kids with anxiety (or parents feeling anxiety).
Well my husband and I finally have our other website up www.herbalinfusions.net. Before you think I am an all natural girl-I just got done eating some potato chips. Actually I only buy them once or twice a year..... But I have been known to have a bit of a sweet tooth. My husband;s mother was always into health stores and alternative medicine. Let's just say I was skeptically open minded. It seemed that you either had to reject traditional medicine calling it evil or something. And we all know a little about snake oil and scams. Yes I was too sophisticated for alternative medicine until I went to grad school and took a research class. I learned to look at the research. I read Dr. Amen's book on the brain and he lists some natural treatments for depression and anxiety, etc. and listed the research behind it. I was intrigued.
My husband got into herbs. If you know my husband he doesn't do things casually. So for my birthday I thought I better find an aspect of his new hobby I could get into. Aromatherapy sounded fun. I liked nice smelling things. So for my birthday I ordered a kit. And some books. And presto...I did research and yah...now I love it. So why am I writing about aromatherapy on my website for friendship? Well I think if we have a child that struggles in some area we want to look into everything we can to help them. So, I would never suggest chucking medication if your child is on it, but you might want to research natural things also. Together you might find the right balance. And I am hoping that people will teach the concepts of cognitive therapy to their children ASAP...as well as learning this method for themselves. I wrote "There's a Big Ant on Me! Get It Off!" just to help people learn these principles in a fun, easy way. Check out the book. Kids love it and it is a wonderful tool to sit with your child and practice the skills while reading a fun book. Another thing to look into is lemon balm extract. Dr. Oz said it works similarly to valium with no side effects. If a child comes home stressed about homework and anxious this may be a great option, so they can start on their work without so much anxiety. And of course "Brain Power". Research actually shows that rosemary essential oil helps with memory recall. But even if you don't buy the research just think how confident your child will feel spraying this on themselves. It smells good! So happy back to school.......Make it a great year...it's up to you. (Rolls eyes but then looks up and there is a HAWK flying above you. {Okay, you have to read "There's a Big Ant on Me, Get it Off" to get this.}) You may have noticed I am using "Charlie" a lot on my website. He has become my mascot. He is also the main character of my first social skill book. My first book is something I think most everyone can use. Who of us has never had any negative thoughts? I know I am guilty. I love the principles of 'cognitive therapy." I don't like to admit I'm old but okay when I first went to undergraduate school this theory wasn't even taught. Luckily I waited many years to get my Master's and I'm glad because this is my favorite theory. Basically it's learning to change our thoughts. Most of us have negative thoughts that aren't really true and these thoughts actually create negative chemicals in our brain causing depression etc. When we learn how to think more realistically and actually even 'argue' with these negative thoughts we feel much better. That's what I'm hoping to accomplish with my first book. I want to teach this powerful concept to kids at an early age. I have taught adults and children alike this concepts and young kids pick it up much easier than adults. If we as parents, and caregivers can encourage kids to learn this concept we are combatting a major epidemic in our society-negative thinking-especially about ourselves. I like Charlie. My son actually helped create him. More books are to come with other kids as the main characters learning to combat social skill problems--but I think Charlie's issues are the most universal and too many of us have never learned how to overcome negative thinking. So even though this is written for children...I hope adults will take the time to learn positive thinking also. On June 18th and 19th people can download the Kindle version of "There's a Big Ant on Me! Get if Off!" for free . The link is http://www.amazon.com/Theres-Big-Friendship-Craze-ebook/dp/B00D914VJI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1370999239&sr=1-1&keywords=there%27s+a+big+ant+on+me+get+it+off This week I heard about a little 3 year old who got so upset he would hurt himself banging his head against the wall. His caretaker told me she was baffled and at a loss of what they should do. For me this brought back memories. Before becoming a mother I had graduated with a degree in Social Work. I was currently working in the mental health system as a caseworker working with adults who suffered from things like schizophrenia, bipolar, severe depression etc. I had taken child development classes, knew the latest parenting strategies, etc. I was so ready to be the perfect parent. Thus entered my child. After my first born I was ready to tear up any parenting book I ever had.
Just as weight fads come and go and the latest research seems in stark contrast to what was popular just a few years earlier; parenting, and mental health theories also very much change. Should you put your baby on their stomache or back? Believe it or not this has changed often throughout the years. Back 20 years ago the fad was timeout. If you knew how to do timeout correctly-you too could be the perfect parent. If my child wasn't perfect the problem was my time out skills. I bought into all this. So when my son started a temper temper I put him in his room, closed the door and said he could comeout when he calmed down. So in theory he would learn to calm down and I could let him go. But no, he was stronger willed than me. He would get so upset and escalate, toys would be thrown, and eventually he would bang his head against the wall until it bled. Having maybe too much trust in professionals I consulted with my supervisors in the mental health field. They reassured me that all would be well and I needed to be stronger and never give in. So away I went in what seemed day after day with the battle of the wills. It was exhausting, stressful and awful. Now don't get me wrong- time out can be a great tool-for the right kid and the right situation. It's just there are many tools and each child is so different that one type of 'parenting' fits all is just silly. Finally, after trying the 'professional' way with horrible, miserable results, my sweet mother gave the best advise of all. She explained that my brother was also a very 'strong willed' child. When he got real upset, she would quietly scratch his back. He would soon settle down. I was desperate! So yes, next time my son started his temper tantrum instead of putting him in his room for time out- I quietly scratched his back. ----I didn't give into him and give him what he wanted -- I just scratched his back. Soon the tantrums and head banging etc. stopped. We could move on. I learned a lot from this. A lot of life lessons. When we act badly, we want to know we are still loved. No matter if we tell our moms we hate them, do crummy at school, are rude to our brother and sister---we still want to know someone cares about us and loves us. It doesn't mean we should get away with acting rotten. I don't think most of us really want to be 'naughty'. It's just harder for some of us than others. We want our limits and people not to give in to our every whim; but we don't want someone to give up on us. Time out is lonely. A scratch on the back lets them know we care even if they have messed up and are acting awful. Another lesson is to follow your instincts. Yes, sometimes we should look to the latest professional advice. Professional advice can save us. But we also need to rely on that voice inside telling you what is right for your particular child. Also look to support from others who understand! If you have a child who is for example, autistic, a mother who isn't familiar with this and has what seems to be 'the perfect child' may have come up with wonderful parenting skills for their children but these may not work at all for your child with their special set of circumstances. So talk to other mothers who may have been in your shoes or may be in it. When I taught some of my friendship skills classes this fall, I happended to have kids had Asperger's and autism. The parents sat outside and visited while I had fun and taught the kids. I think the parents enjoyed visiting and supporting one another as much as anything. Get support from real people. In my case it was my mom. Had I gone to her sooner, and not been so prideful my days would have been a lot less stressful and my days happier. Again if you need help, talk to others, read the latest books but listen to that voice inside you who loves your child like no other. Parenthood is hard. Each child is different. But there is nothing more worth it. I admit, I have always been skeptical about "natural' medicine. Maybe because I had a child with ADD and people would tell me -just stay away from food coloring- or don't let him eat sugar, or have him take this yucky food, or just use tough love and he will be cured. Bologna! I'm sure a lot of those things can help but most of the time it just brought my child and I in tears. Not worth it! So I have been a skeptic. Not that I was anti it. Just not convinced.
What started turning me around was a book called "Magnificent Mind at Any Age" by Dr. Amen. As a young adult my child was tired of medication (he was probably overdosed). and refused to take anything. But he was open to supplements. What is great about this book is Dr. Amen is a psychiatrist who uses both traditional medication and has a lot of research on supplements. Some of the supplements really helped my child through some tough times until he was ready to go back on traditional medication and supplements to thrive as he is doing today. I want to share some 'natural' remedies that I found really works! If anyone has found something that 'really works, please share it with me. My husband is really into this and we are experimanting and want to hear others experiences. 1. LEMON BALM EXTRACT: I heard about this on the Dr. Oz show. Lemon Balm works on the same part of the brain as a valium--in fact it is quicker acting and stronger then a valium with absolutely no side effects. So when you are stressed or anxious or your child seems that was just take a dropperful of lemon balm extract in a little bit of wated and drink it. You can take a dropperful direcly but it is sour that way. With the water you can't taste it. This works!!!!! We have tried it!!!!! 2. FRESH BASIL: If you get a mosquitoe bite just take a leaf off the basil and rub it on the bite. Oh my goodness-the soreness goes right away. This is much more effective then Benadryl, cortizone etc. I'm tried it on other kind of bites and rashes, w/o the same effect but on mosquitoe bits it is awesome. Since we live in the South this is a must grow in the summertime. Mosquitoes love my daughter. 3. FISH OIL: I had a child with acne. The dermatologist gave him some stuff. No real change. Then for other reasons he started using fish oil. In a couple of weeks his skin was clear. He stopped taking the fish oil. The acne came back. Went on it again-clear skin. I never heard of this and we found out 'accidently' but fish oil is so good for you for a lot of reasons. Give it a try and see if it helps the acne. |
AuthorI am a mother of 3. I have a passion for helping kids feel comfortable in their 'own skin'. Archives
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